The most common questions:

Where do I start?

If I can only do one major change what should it be?

What is the most important aspect of parenting?

How do I get control back with my family?

How do I handle my teen?

How do I teach my toddler to stop throwing fits?

How do I teach my child to stop hitting? (besides you stop hitting them!)

How do I gain respect with my children? They have no respect for me.

I feel like I am always fighting with my children, how to I get them to listen?

They all have the same answer- CONSISTANCY

def: firmness of constitution or character : persistency

Ewww… none of us like that word. That word, consistancy, means we have to be reliable, accountable and responsible. Yes, we had children, we made that choice, now we must grow up and live up to our responsibility. Your children NEED your consistancy. How do you think they learn? If there is something you can’t stand about your child just look in the mirror because most likely they got it from you or your spouse. No lies- really. It is an ugly fact, but when my son started yelling when he was younger (before this system) I knew he learned it from me. Does he still yell.. ooh yes, it was taught to him– even though I have stopped yelling, he has no motivation to stop yet. We, of course, always correct him, and over time it happens less and less.. but it is a constant reminder of my mistakes. When he doesn’t clean up after himself, besides getting a consequence or allowance taken away, it is a constant reminder of where he learned that– his father! LOL.. really he did. We are very appreciative that we don’ t have the typical teen troubles with lying and disrespect. I am not saying that he is perfect.. ooh no by no means, but for the most part- he is a child who knows his boundaries and house rules and respects them. Does he ever try to cross them, OF COURSE- he is a teenager! But we are consistant with our reactions to his behaviors- he can count on how we will react. We will not yell, we will not spank, we will not give him a punishment and then take it away because it was to harsh. He will get a consequence appropriate for his behavior period. If he was late he will just get a consequence. If he drives off in his car while we are in a serious discussion (he is mad) when I told him not to, he will get his truck taken away. If he has attitude- a consequence. If he is caught skipping school- maybe 3 consequences. But like I said, he did get his car taken away recently for a period of time, but we are very very proud of our son and who he has become. Even when we took his truck away, he took the consequence with dignity and served his time away from it without arguement.

You might ask how did this happen, how did we essentially skip the horror teen troubles, teen tricks, teen trama? Well, this is just my opinion- and you know I will share it- I feel that we have kept him busy with sports, made him accountable for his actions with The Consequence System, kept an honest relationship with the safe space cup, and made him work for his money. While we did the above things we were consistant with our boundaries and expectations of him. It has not always been perfect and in the last year we have had some issues of me having a hard time letting him grow up and him trying to grow up to fast- but we worked through them with our system. We have always gotten compliments about Kyle’s behavior and now that we have Cassidy understanding the system we get it about both of them.

We just went to the Coast Guard recruiters office yesterday and I was so proud of him and I think the recruiter was very impressed also. The coast guard only takes a certain few each year and as long as he does well on the test he will be one of those select few- Go Kyle!!